Does it Get Lonely Traveling Long Term Alone?

The most common question I receive from friends, family, strangers, other travelers, is: “Do you get lonely?”. The short answer is no. I can count on one hand how many times I have felt lonely over the past few months. I feel lonely only in the company of other people, specifically other people who don’t truly want to be with me. Especially traveling, I have learned there is such a big difference between people who talk to me in their free time versus people who would free their time to talk to me. When I am alone, I am not lonely. I am in my own company and I can hang with myself all day, every day!

I know a lot of people can’t do what I am doing, time and money reasons not included. Besides the fear of traveling to a completely new country where you don’t even speak the language, but doing it alone? Having no one to get lost with, ask questions to if you are unsure, someone to always have your back? Dinner out alone? It is pretty ‘out there’ when you think about it like that. I find it easier in many ways. You get to create your own schedule, eat what you want to eat, and can sit by the beach for six hours taking a nap if you dang well please! There are a few people in this world I can harmoniously travel with, people who eat what I want to eat and people who are down to walk around for hours and get lost. It can turn my vacation foul when people complain all the time! When you travel alone, you can never complain! Who are you going to complain to? You have to keep a positive attitude because quite literally everything depends on you. In addition, I meet so many other travelers because I stay in hostels. The best thing about being solo is you have an instant connection with other solo travelers and a quick friend. People in groups aren’t as open to talking but people alone always are! I have made friends in every country I have visited.

A big obstacle many people have to traveling solo is not even fear at some times but I would argue it is that some people do not like to be alone. My brother is one of these people. I can spend hours not speaking, touring alone, eating alone, watching TV alone, strolling the world. Many people get bored, which is totally valid, everyone is different. I am so happy, if not more happy at times to be alone than with other people. Ever since I was little my mom has called my time alone “Thyra Time” since I crave it so much. I remember growing up and being ecstatic when the house would be empty so I could have some “Thyra Time”. Many people say “patience” or other adjectives when speaking about finding partners or friends. I always say “someone who I enjoy being with more than I enjoy being with myself”. I still love being with people, I am no hermit, but for travel I prefer it!

Times I have felt lonely while traveling are:

• During a tour on Jeju Island, South Korea. Every single person on the tour was in a twosome and had little to no interest in chatting with anyone but their designated partner. I am usually indifferent to people in pairs but something about that tour made me feel so isolated and bothersome.
• At a party hostel in Vietnam. I like a good drink and dance but this felt like a frat house, not my scene.

That is it. These are the only times I have felt really lonely/unhappy and even that only lasted about an hour until I told myself to get over it. I looked in my diary for other occurrences and nada! Most of what I wrote about being alone in my journal was talking about how I wished I was alone! So, don’t worry about me. Once you know how to be happy alone and take care of yourself, company becomes an option and not a necessity.

T